This site is hilarious. The Biblical Curse Generator. This are a few it spit out:
Listen, O ye creature of the pit, for you will beget difficult teenagers!
I hope you will have more mother-in-laws than King Solomon, O thou denizen of the underworld!
Behold, thou shalt be thrown into a den of hyperactive lions, O ye exceedingly foolish virgin!
Ahhhhhh… Who doesn’t love a good biblical curse?