Trinity of Dumbasses

/ / 4 Comments

I know I should never, ever go to a Wal-Mart. The place is pure evil, and by going there I am always reminded about how idiotic and rude our culture has become here in the US. Here’s what happened this afternoon.

After work I had to pick up an accessory for my XBox. So I went to department in Wal-Mart and had an employee unlock the accessory for me, and ring it up. As we are going to the register in his department, a teenager with full Hot Topic ensemble and mussy hair asks the employee ‘Duuuude, where are your Whoopie Cushions?’ The guy wasn’t sure what he meant, so the teenager asked again, and when the employee tried to point him to the Furniture department, the guy was like ‘Oh my god Dude, I can’t believe you don’t know what a Whoopie Cushion is! Pathetic dude…’ And he walks away.

The employee was funny about it and asked me if I knew what a Whoopie Cushion was, so I explained it and we laughed. The employee said ‘Wow, I’m really upset that I didn’t know that…’ with a nice dose of sarcasm. The employee was cool, but the teenager was Dumbass number one.

Next, I went to the parking lot. There was a woman whose car was backed into her spot. She was unloading stuff into her car. When she got done, she left the cart in the spot next to her. This was while the cart return was RIGHT IN FRONT OF HER CAR. She would have had to walk an extra ten feet, but NO. Dumbass number two.

NOTE: This is a HUGE pet peeve of mine. One time I saw a guy do that so I blocked him in with my car and purposefully took the cart he discarded and returned it to the cart return while he was forced to wait. Nowadays I would probably get shot for that, but anyway, that’s the level I detest these people.

So I leave the lot and start to drive home. On the corner is someone holding a sign advertising a local pizza place. It’s about a four foot by three foot sign and would be a nice advertisement… IF HE WASN’T HOLDING IT UPSIDE DOWN! [sigh] Yes, the moron who’s only job was to hold a sign got it wrong. Dumbass number three.

One trip to Wal-Mart, ten minutes, three complete idiots. I fear for our future… I honestly do. I try to combat it by raising smart, polite, good kids. The only problem is that the idiots are too dumb not to over procreate, so we’ll always be outnumbered… gah.